Articles

James Earl Relationship Counsellor

Articles

I write for Liz Earle Wellbeing magazine on sex, relationships and psychotherapy.

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I have written for Newsweek on dating and cheating.

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Read an interview with James in the Marylebone Journal

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Read 'The Sandwich Years' in Simply Women and Home.

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Conference paper

The Romantic Myth Of Making Love

Delivered to the UKCP (UK Council for Psychotherapy) Conference in December 2018.

In this paper I argue that the romantic idea of sex as an expression of love, leads, very often, to a sense of confusion, frustration and failure in couples. I explain why this idea doesn’t work, why we nonetheless hang on to it, and propose a slightly different way of thinking about sex in long-term relationships.

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Short essays

On Audio Porn

As a result of lockdown, there has been an interest in alternative ways of enjoying sex - for example, video cam sex, sexting and audio porn ...

On 'icks'

An ‘ick’ is a behaviour in a partner we find unpleasant or disturbing, and it can move us from a feeling of desire to a feeling of disgust. There are several levels of icks ...

Short Pieces published on LinkedIn

The complaint contract

It is unwise for the therapist to assume that every couple who comes for therapy wants change. It is often the case that a couple want, instead ...

On discovering an affair

Discovering an affair usually rocks more than the foundation and can leave you feeling physically sick, disorientated, completely unsure what you should do ...

The paradox of marriage

Long-term relationships are built on a paradox - not one we often talk about, or warn our teenagers about, but we should. The paradox, put simply, is that one ...

A history lesson

It’s easy to believe that we have, as a society, become quite relaxed about sex. Sex is now an everyday thing in TV dramas, advertising, magazine articles ...

Sex, fun & growth

Long-term relationships should offer each partner two things. The relationship should feel like the best place for individual growth. And it should be fun ...

My partner wants sex - i don't!

This is a common situation in long-term relationships or marriage. Whichever side of the equation you are on, it can cause unhappiness ....

Book on Animation & Therapy

'To Infinity and Beyond: The Power of Animation and its Application to Mental Health & Well-being' By James Earl & Quint Boa, available on Amazon (£6 hard copy or £4.89 download)