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The Romantic Myth Of Making Love

Delivered to the UKCP (UK Council for Psychotherapy) Conference in December 2018. In this paper I argue that the romantic idea of sex as an expression of love, leads, very often, to a sense of confusion, frustration and failure in couples. I explain why this idea doesn’t work, why we nonetheless hang on to it, and propose a slightly different way of thinking about sex in long-term relationships.



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