James Earl Relationship Counsellor
The Romantic Myth Of Making Love
Delivered to the UKCP (UK Council for Psychotherapy) Conference in December 2018.
In this paper I argue that the romantic idea of sex as an expression of love, leads, very often, to a sense of confusion, frustration and failure in couples. I explain why this idea doesn’t work, why we nonetheless hang on to it, and propose a slightly different way of thinking about sex in long-term relationships.
Click the poster for the full text version
On Audio Porn
As a result of lockdown, there has been an interest in alternative ways of enjoying sex - for example, video cam sex, sexting and audio porn ...
Short Pieces published on LinkedIn
The complaint contract
It is unwise for the therapist to assume that every couple who comes for therapy wants change. It is often the case that a couple want, instead ...
On discovering an affair
Discovering an affair usually rocks more than the foundation and can leave you feeling physically sick, disorientated, completely unsure what you should do ...
A history lesson
It’s easy to believe that we have, as a society, become quite relaxed about sex. Sex is now an everyday thing in TV dramas, advertising, magazine articles ...
Sex, fun & growth
Long-term relationships should offer each partner two things. The relationship should feel like the best place for individual growth. And it should be fun ...
Book on Animation & Therapy