Difficulty reaching orgasm, ED ...
Erectile dysfunction (ED), painful sex, early ejaculation, and difficulty reaching orgasm, are common, workable problems — and among the most charged with shame. These are human experiences, shared by far more people than the silence around them suggests. That silence tends to make things feel more fixed than they are. In most cases, these sexual difficulties are genuinely treatable.
It is worth ruling out physical causes first. ED for example can be associated with
cardiovascular issues or diabetes; painful
intercourse can result from infection or hormonal factors. A visit to your GP is
usually the right first step.
Very often, though, the causes turn out to be emotional or psychological — anxiety being the most common — and they respond well to talking therapy. The mind and body are not as separate as we sometimes like to think, and sexual function is particularly sensitive to what we are carrying emotionally.
Many people also come with questions rather than problems in the conventional sense — about their sexuality, their preferences, their fantasies, or what they sometimes call their kinks. Underneath most of these questions is a simpler one: is this normal? Is this OK? These are entirely
legitimate questions, and ones that most
people have nobody to ask. The consulting room can be a rare space in which they can
be raised without embarrassment and explored without judgement.
There is often shame attached to sexual difficulties — a feeling that something is fundamentally wrong, or that the problem reflects badly on you as a partner or as a person. It rarely does. These are human difficulties, and the fact that they are so common is itself worth knowing.
Psychosexual therapy is entirely a talking therapy. There is no physical element at any point. It offers a calm, confidential space — somewhere closer to a private conversation than a medical consultation — to begin asking questions you may have been carrying for a long time.