What I can help with
Sexual Difficulties
Sexual problems are really common in both men and women, and at all ages. They can include painful intercourse, erectile dysfunction (ED), premature or delayed ejaculation, and difficulty reaching orgasm.
They may appear alongside loss of desire, or alongside compulsive sexual behaviour — or entirely on their own.
It is worth ruling out possible physical causes before or alongside therapy. ED, for example, can be associated with cardiovascular issues or diabetes; painful intercourse can result from infection or other physical causes. These possibilities can usually be explored with a visit to your GP. Very often, however, we find that the causes are emotional or psychological — anxiety being the most common — and that they respond well to talking therapy.
The mind and body are not as separate as we sometimes like to think, and sexual function is particularly sensitive to what we are carrying emotionally.
Many people also come with questions rather than problems in the conventional sense — questions about their sexuality, their preferences, their fantasies, or what they sometimes call their "kinks." A recurring concern is simply: is this normal? Is this OK? These are entirely legitimate questions, and ones that most people have nobody to ask. The consulting room can be a rare space in which they can be asked without embarrassment and answered without judgement.
There is often shame attached to sexual difficulties — a feeling that something is fundamentally wrong, or that the problem
reflects badly on you as a partner or as a person. It rarely does. These are human difficulties, and the fact that they are so common is itself worth knowing.
I will work with you to understand what might be behind the difficulty — whether that is anxiety, relationship dynamics, past experience, or simply a lack of information — and to explore what you would actually like your sexual life to look like.
Sex therapy is a talking therapy and does not involve touch at any time. I offer a relaxed, confidential space to ask questions and think things through — something closer to a private seminar than a medical consultation.