FAQs on Sex & Relationship Therapy
Below are the things I'm asked most often. If something isn't covered here, do email me.
Can I book a session just to ask questions, without committing to therapy?
Yes — and in fact, your first session is free precisely for that reason. It's a chance to meet, ask whatever you want to ask, and see whether this feels like the right fit. Some people arrive with a list of questions about the process; others dive straight into what's on their mind. Either is fine. There's no pressure and no expectation
What happens in a first session?
The first session is really a conversation — a chance for you to say what's brought you here, and for me to begin to understand what's going on. I'll ask some questions, but there's no fixed agenda and no pressure to cover everything at once. Some people arrive with a very clear sense of what they want to talk about; others are less sure, and that's fine too. By the end, we'll usually have a clearer sense of what we're working with, and whether working together feels like the right fit. There's no obligation to continue.
Do I need to bring anything?
No — just yourself, and whatever is on your mind. You don't need to prepare a speech or have your thoughts organised in advance. Some people find it helpful to jot down a few things they want to make sure they mention, but that's entirely optional. If you're coming as a couple, it can sometimes be useful to have thought about what each of you hopes to get from the sessions — but again, not essential. The session will find its own shape.
Is sex therapy embarrassing?
Most people feel some apprehension before the first session — that's completely understandable, given the territory. What tends to happen, though, is that the embarrassment lifts quite quickly once you're actually in the room. People are often surprised by how straightforwardly these conversations can be had in the right setting. I've been working in this area for fifteen years, and there is genuinely very little that would surprise or discomfort me. My aim is to create a space where you can say what you need to say without feeling judged — something closer to a thoughtful conversation than a medical examination.
What if I find it hard to talk about sex?
That's one of the most common things people say when they arrive — and it usually becomes less true quite quickly. Part of my job is to make these conversations feel manageable, and I've found that most people, once they feel the room is genuinely safe and non-judgmental, can say more than they expected. We go at your pace. There's no obligation to talk about anything before you're ready, and nothing you say will shock me or change how I see you.
Does sex therapy involve touching?
No — not at any point. Sex therapy with me is entirely a talking therapy. We sit, we talk, and that's it. I know this sometimes surprises people, because the name can conjure something quite different. There are some historical models of sex therapy that involved exercises done at home between partners — and I may occasionally suggest things to try in your own time if that feels relevant and useful — but the sessions themselves involve no physical contact whatsoever. If that's been a concern, I hope it's a relief to know.
Do you work with LGBTQ+ clients, non-monogamous relationships, or kink?
Yes — and I want to be clear that 'yes' here means genuine familiarity, not just openness in principle. I work with people of all sexualities, genders, and relationship structures. I will always ask if I don't understand something: the point of these sessions is to be useful to you, and that means starting from where you actually are.
Do you only work with couples?
No — I work with individuals just as much as with couples. People come alone to explore questions about their own sexuality, desire, or sexual history; to work through the aftermath of a relationship; or simply because something feels stuck and they're not sure why. You don't need to be in a relationship, or to have a presenting "problem" in the conventional sense, to find this kind of work useful.
Can I come on my own, even if the problem involves my partner?
Absolutely. Many people come individually to work through relationship or sexual concerns, either because their partner isn't ready to come, or because they want to think things through for themselves first. Individual work can be just as valuable as couples work — sometimes more so. If it later feels right to bring a partner into the sessions, that's always possible.
What if my partner and I see the problem very differently?
That's more the rule than the exception. Couples rarely arrive with identical accounts of what's wrong — and occasionally their versions are almost opposites. That's not an obstacle to the work; it's usually where the most interesting and useful conversations begin. Part of what I do is hold both perspectives at once, without taking sides, and try to find what's underneath the disagreement. You don't need to have reached consensus before you come. You just need to be willing to be in the room.
What's the difference between sex therapy and relationship therapy?
In practice, with me, not that much — the two are usually intertwined. Sexual difficulties rarely exist in isolation from the relationship context, and relationship problems often have a sexual dimension, even if that's not what brings someone through the door initially. I'm trained and experienced in both, and I follow the conversation wherever it needs to go. The label matters less than what you actually need. Psychosexual therapy is simply the professional term for sex therapy — the two are the same thing.
What's the difference between marriage counselling, couple counselling and couple therapy?
Again, not that much — terms such as couples counselling and couples therapy, or relationship counselling and relationship therapy, mean much the same thing.
How many sessions will I need?
That varies enormously, and I'd be wary of anyone who gave you a confident number upfront. Some people find that a handful of sessions is enough to shift something significant; others prefer to work over a longer period. A lot depends on what you're bringing, and what you want from the process. I'd suggest thinking of the first two or three sessions as exploratory — a chance to see what emerges and what feels useful — rather than committing to a fixed course of treatment. We can review as we go, and you're always free to stop or pause.
Is everything confidential?
Yes, completely. Everything you say in sessions stays between us. I work within the professional ethical guidelines of COSRT, which include strict confidentiality. The only exceptions — which I'd always discuss with you openly — would be if I had serious concerns about risk of harm to yourself or someone else. In fifteen years of practice, that has very rarely arisen.
If I've had individual sessions with you, and then we book couples sessions, will what I said privately stay confidential?
Yes. What you share in an individual session belongs to you, and I won't bring it into a couples session. If you've spoken to me on your own and then your partner joins, I won't be drawing on what you told me privately. Some couples therapy models involve a "no secrets" policy — meaning the therapist won't hold information from one partner that the other doesn't know about. That's not how I work. I see my job as treating two individuals, each of whose privacy I respect. If you have any questions about this, I'm happy to talk it through.
How much does it cost?
The first session is free — so you can get a sense of whether this feels right before any money changes hands. If you decide to continue, sessions are £105 per hour for couples and £80 per hour for individuals. I also offer reduced rates for anyone who is unemployed or on a low income — just let me know. There are no fixed packages or minimum commitments; you can book as regularly or as occasionally as suits you.
What is your cancellation policy?
I don't charge for missed sessions. Life gets in the way sometimes, and I understand that. Havingf said that, I appreciate 48 hours' notice if you need to cancel or reschedule.
You can cancel or rearrange directly from your booking confirmation email.
Do you offer online sessions?
Yes. I work with you in-person, or online. If you live a distance away, or are constrained by work or other commitments, online sessions maybe a good alternative.
i work from 8am to 9pm seven days a week, so you can hopefully find a time that works for you.
i also offer whole-day and half-day sessions in-person if you'd like a more condensed experience.
Tell me about whole-day & half-day sessions?
Weekly sessions work well for most people, but they have a natural rhythm — you arrive, begin to get somewhere, and then it's time to stop. For some people that stop-start quality can feel frustrating. A longer session allows you to go deeper without clock-watching. Intensive sessions can be particularly useful for couples who want to make significant progress quickly; and for people who live some distance away and prefer to make the journey once rather than repeatedly. If you'd like to know more, please contact me for a typical itinerary.