What I can help with
Desire & intimacy
Most couples run into difficulties with sex at some stage. If sex has become infrequent, or stopped completely, or simply become less enjoyable, it is worth looking at the reasons why — because they are rarely mysterious, and they are almost never permanent.
You may be feeling more generally disconnected from your partner, less playful, and find that sex feels out of context — something that belongs to an earlier version of the relationship.
You may be carrying resentment, which makes the prospect of sex feel remote or even unappealing.
The head-rush of passion you used to feel for your partner may have faded, even if you still love them.
You may be asking yourself: how can I have sex without strong feelings of desire? Or wondering whether that level of desire can ever come back. Maybe you are aware that you want sex more than your partner does, and aren't sure how to raise it without causing hurt. Or perhaps you feel switched off from sex yourself, and can't quite identify why.
You may also be aware of sexual desires or fantasies that you feel would be unacceptable to your partner — things you have never found a way to talk about, and aren't sure you could.
The vast majority of couples run into some version of these problems. What makes it harder is that sex is one of the most difficult things to talk about, particularly with the person you are closest to.
Conversations about it can feel clumsy, exposing, or can quickly turn into an argument. So the situation quietly continues, and the distance grows.
I will work with you to explore how to get back to having fun together; how to rediscover an erotic spark; how to avoid dutiful sex, or the feeling that intimacy has become just another obligation; how to talk about sex; and how to think about it differently.
Sex can be a genuinely enjoyable, exciting, and fulfilling part of a long-term relationship. Psychosexual therapy is entirely a talking therapy — there is no touch — and it offers a calm, confidential space to begin that conversation.