Recovery from affairs & betrayal
Discovering a partner's affiar can feel like a landmine going off in your relationship.
Often, the feeling is a mixture of shock and disorientation - going to heart of trust. A common stattemtment is 'I don't know who you are any more.'
The person on the receiving end will want to ask lots of questioins (including 'why?), but very often the partner who crossed the line doesn't find it easy to say.
The affair-partner's desire to protect themselves, and also protect the injured partner from the truth, makes talking about it hard.
The problem is, the affaired-against partner needs to ask questions to understand what happend, so they can process it and reach a decision about whether they want to continue in the relationship.
One thing worth noticing is that, while the affair-partner must take 100% of the responsibility for their actions, the situation before the affair was created 50-50. This means both partners can bid for what they want to be different he future, if they're thinking of going on.
Often both partners feel confused about what they want and need after an affair: and talking (calmly) is the route to understanding.
I will work with you, to show you:
– how to deal with the discovery
– how to talk about what happened
– how to talk about what comes next
– how to decide what you both need from the relationship in thet future, if you decide to continue
– how to begin to restore trust
It is believed that infidelity occurs in about 80% of long-term relationships. So not only is it a common problem, a lot couples have gone through this crisis before you – and survived.