James Earl • info@jamesearl.com • 07429 186 222

(placeholder)

James Earl

Relationship Counselling

(placeholder)

07429 186 222

info@jamesearl.com

Anger is not a feeling - It is the expression of a feeling

Wednesday, 18 March 2020 20:56

Anger almost always sits on top of existential disappointment. Disappointnent has two components: "it's not fair'' and "im sad." The "it's not fair" is expressed in anger, and anger both expresses the disappointment and more importantly bathes and obscures the sadness. Hence it is an effective, affective strategy - and very popular.  It feels honest ("I DO think its unfair!") and soothing ("now I don't feel sad any more"). Our job is to help clients recognise both parts of disappointment and reclaim their sadness.

Relationship Counselling Blog