Anxiety is a way of signalling what cannot be put into words — often the fear of being subsumed by the Other’s desire, particularly when that Other is also a source of love (a parent, a partner). The contradiction is not sayable. Anxiety both signals the fear in the face of the loving Other and defends against it: articulating it incoherently, yet defending effectively. The work of therapy is to allow the client to live with this ambiguity by bringing it into language.